We learned the elements of stalking in our Domestic Violence class today at the academy. It's important that we understand the elements before we can determine if a crime has been committed thus ultimately making an arrest. It was extremely eye opening to share experiences with other recruits, and current police officers when it comes to stalking. With all the joking, and subjective comments aside it was compelling to study the significant behavioral patterns for stalkers in general.

This leads me into my topic. Let's face it, we've all been stalked on sort of level at one point in our lives. Adolescence sometimes teaches us that stalking is simply a unique way of someone expressing how much they're interested in you. I remember when I was a teenager I would feel comfort in knowing someone actually set time aside time to "stalk" me. Sounds sad, but I actually thought it was cute for a while. Whether it was the 20 consecutive missed calls, or the random popping up at social events without any notice - for some odd reason I thought this behavior was habitual and innocent.

In contrast to adolescence, I think as an adult stalking becomes more irritative because of the heighten expectation of privacy. Naturally the stalker's actions are also heighten which is usually easily detected. Threats, surveillance, and physical action are even more prevalent. Unfortunately when the signs of stalking go ignored the victim's safety can be placed in immediate danger.

Our training officer (female) pointed out to us common examples of male stalkers in a relationship. Here are a couple of examples; men who almost always have to pick their significant others up from school/work, men who constantly have to keep track of their significant others via mobile device, men who almost always disapprove of their significant other's friends & family thus indicating they should get rid of them. These examples may seem fairly harmless in the beginning, however they play a major part if the female decides to split because of the control the male has instilled in the relationship. These same type of men feel "obligated" to stay around and tend to remain in denial about the break-up. In many cases it only escalates from there.

After watching several videos of victims killed by stalkers I realize how serious this crime is. If you or anyone you know is being stalked, take the necessary precautions (court orders, advising family of the activity, etc). A substantial majority of the homicides I reviewed today were of victims who didn't take their stalkers seriously.

Final Thought: Til this day I'm constantly stalked. Periodically the number of stalkers tends to vary, however I must admit things have gotten better over the last 12-18 months. The stalking isn't physically threatening (so far), however it's pretty annoying and at times gets under my skin. Although I'm reluctant to admit it I'm an easy target, especially when you've pissed off as many people as I have. Karma tends to play its role and have it's way with me. Go figure.

This blog post will hopefully serve two purposes....not only is it informative, but perhaps it will stray away current or potential stalkers in the future out of mere shame and embarrassment. Yeah right...who am I kidding.