There's now a new condom out that serves 3 purposes at one. Besides protecting from STDs & pregnancy, the new "Condometric" condom now accurately measures the size of the user's penis. Yes that's right, the Condometric condom features a ruler imprinted on the latex for the viewers pleasure. For those of you who enjoy the taste of latex you're just in luck. The Condometric condom comes in four flavors including; lime, cherry, banana and prophylactic rubber. The days of ego boosting about your humongous penile size are now over. Instead of your sexual partner counterfactually assuming height and width. He or she will now be able to put all doubt to rest and give an accurate assertion of the actual size of your most prised possession. Unfortunately the condom's maximum length is 25cm, so that would leave me unable to determine if this product lives up to it's name. The condom can currently only be purchased at the manufacturer's website.

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Final Thought: Again, I wear a size 14. Which means....I have really big feet.
...where'd you think I was going with that silly?