Dear Cassie,

I wrote 4 other times but you've yet to respond. I'm guessing it must be some kinda mix up at the Post Office or something. I'm left handed, so at times my writing isn't legible. No hard feelings I'm very forgiving. But anyways, I'm not just some creep who wants to meet you. I'm a soft, shy, gentle young man with an eager desire to fulfill your needs.

I use to shop at Target just to see your face before they pulled your modeling contract. Now I visit your blog 3 times a day which you've yet to update in the past 4 months. I've even seen "Step it Up 2" 6 times. Some people downplay your acting ability, but me....I know an Oscar winning performance when I see it. Can you believe some of my friends try to convey to me that you're talentless? It's just jealously...hell I know they're wrong, I seen you on 106 & Park - your dancing wasn't pathetic it was in fact mesmerizing.

See here's the truth Cassie, no one knows you like I do. I notice the signals you send me during interviews. Sure we've yet to meet, but you know what I'm talking about. The way you constantly blink your eyes, and scratch your left ear.....it's no coincident that those same signals mean "I love you Kells" in some 3rd World Country (no research necessary). So let's speed up the process, we're not getting any younger. Give me a call at (312) 405 - xxxx. Let's get better acquainted.

P.S I've paid no attention to the Diddy rumors, I trust you.

Sincerely yours,
Steve Kells

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I've seen some ugly animals in my life but I've never seen a piglet with a monkey's face.

Final Thought: Crushes shouldn't be confused with obsession.